More about Netjer than you can shake a stick at

The title of this blog is "Dances with Netjer" but where've the posts about Netjer been!? Here's something with bits from my personal journal to satisfy your hunger :)

 In one of my previous posts I mentioned that I'm trying to look more at other Egyptian deities, and examine my own practices more. As a Hermetic Egypto-pagan,  I felt that one way to start doing this would be to examine the basic natures of the deities who have made themselves apparent to me in my life. To do this, I began trying to look at their basic qualities, and place them on the tree of life. I backed this up with research and ideas that are already prevalent in various sections of the occult community.  Below is a very stream-of-consciousness piece that I took from my personal journal focused on furthering an understanding of the spirits I work with.

I do something that I'm not sure that many others do. I incorporate the idea that the sephera are not limited by purely "holiness" and that as all other things they can have positive an negative aspects which for simplicity sake I differentiate between by referring to the negative pole of a sephera as the "lower vibration" of any particular sephera mentioned.

With this in mind, if I were to place the deities I work with on the tree of life: 

Anubis is Hod, Wepwawet (also known as Apuat) is his lower vibration. Sekhmet is the lower vibration of Hathor, who is Netzatch. Despite being on opposite sides of the reversed tree, Sekhmet and Wepwawet have something in common – they are both war deities.

Sekhmet of lower Netzatch, is ruled by her emotions. She fights, she slaughters in the name of her God, of Ra who sends her to purify the land of those who have turned their back on the gods. She is unbridled furious emotion gone out of control. Her rage consumes her and the “reason” is forgotten.

Wepwawet is also a war deity, but while Anubis carries the truth, the pure knowledge of Hod, Anubis is a more gentle and kind protector, like cool flowing water. Wepwawet of lower Hod is the cold calculating knowledge combined with the blazing hot sun. His heart is in his work. He is the calculating war general. People are pawns for war and to him everything/everyone is expendable except for the purpose he is summoned for (and himself) He does what he is tasked to do, but he will do it in the most simple and logical way, which may or may not involve harming others. Unlike Anubis he is more egotistic, and as he is a bearer of knowledge of logic, it wouldn't be inaccurate to say that he always has to get the last word, and always has to be correct in everything.

Do not misunderstand, there is no mal-intent here, and this isn’t to say that he is completely without emotion, but calculated plans are more important to him than emotion. Both Anubis and Wepwawet will “open the way” but Anubis is more keen to grasp and take into account the underlying desires that you may or may not voice. This is simply my opinion based on what I have encountered. I understand it may be different for others.

Looking at Wepwawet and Sekhmet, their purviews cross as solar war deities, but very unlike Wepwawet, once Sekhmet is set loose no reason is needed anymore. Everyone is ripe for the slaughter. If I had to phrase it more simply, Sekhmet is Instinct, Wepwawet is Thought. 

“But Silv!” You may ask, “What about your experiences with Sekhmet where she wasn’t a bloodthirsty rage-lion?”

My response would be that this doesn’t invalidate that, because Hathor and Sekhmet are two sides of the same coin. Sekhmet is a goddess of emotion, of devotion. Hathor is not a killer; Sekhmet is and can easily get caught up in the power of emotion and forget reason. This doesn’t mean that she is “always” in a state of perpetual bloodlust, but unlike Hathor that is still in her nature regardless.

I found myself wondering where the other gods would fit in the tree of life…. Then I realized that there could be other gods that can still be ruled by the same influences as Anubis/Wepwawet Hathor/Sekhmet! Why am I limiting myself to one god or goddess ruled by one Sephera? Hell, It’s been more or less clear that Bast/Sekhmet overlap in some ways. Other aspects of the same god/goddess could still be covered as well. It shows how a simple change of perspective can turn things on their head. ( I wonder where Hermanubis would fall? Hmmmm)

Despite this, I have no idea if putting other gods/goddesses under the same Sephera would be accurate, and I have yet to seriously look at whether it would work it is only up for consideration because I feel it’s something that should be considered.

Does this mean I have to throw out my theory of where these Egyptian gods and goddesses fit on the Tree of Life? Nope. This just gives me more to work with, and tells me that I might want to take a closer look at things.

Over the years my study has been leading me deeper and deeper into the beautiful clusterfuck intricacies of Ancient Egyptian cosmology.  One of these days I need to take an actual academic course in Egyptology. I’m sure I could learn so much more about the beliefs and every day life of these people, and how they interacted with and viewed their gods. Books, and the Internet are wonderful, but there’s just so much out there!

As wonderful as UPG is, I find it even more satisfying to back up UPG with solid academic facts. After a chat with Anubis (or others) I always check academic sources to see if there is anything that backs up new “knowledge” I might have obtained from what would otherwise be considered a voice in the head of a girl who thinks she might talk to Ancient Egyptian gods. My experiences in this regard have grown much stronger over the past six months, and validation has become a necessity to make sure I keep myself in check.

Wanting academic validation does not invalidate faith, and having faith doesn't invalidate logic. I’ve heard this before, and I think it’s foolish. Spirit communication isn’t always clear. One “word” can mean many different things depending on context in my experience, and sometimes multiple meanings are inherent in a single thing. Checking for validation can correct you where you might have misunderstood something, or even give you more information that for whatever reason wasn’t communicated. 

 We are our own worst enemy, and it's important to remember this when on a magical path. Its easy to get caught up in wanting to be right, to the point that you can't admit when you're wrong... and believe me I could be wrong about everything ;)

I'm a Mage

A few weeks ago, I started doing more work to get what I need out of the universe.
I'll be honest, despite calling myself a "Mage" for the better part of my teenage years and up until recently, I hadn't really applied myself when it comes to asking the universe for things. I didn't ask for money, I didn't try to control my environment, or influence much of anything. I healed friends, did readings to try to understand what forces were at play in my life and the lives of others when things got hairy.

Yeah I did my shapeshifting thing, chatted with Anubis now and then, did my LBRPs... but the most I really did to deliberately influence the world around me was work with Fotamecus to do things like make the day go by more quickly when I was bored/having a bad day, or slow things down when the sun was rising and I needed to actually get a decent bit of sleep before class. I've never really seen the need to go after money or to establish myself as master of my domain....and then I stepped into the adult world, and shut the door on the people who kept throwing money at me before, in an attempt to control me, and keep me from taking the steps that I needed to. Before long, I was at the mercy of the universe because I dared to do the right thing, and worked my ass off to grow into a better and stronger person.

I once was afraid of the idea of summoning spirits for help, of delving too deeply into this world, out of fear that I would go insane like so many others I know who've pursued the path of magic over the years and lost their abilities to live normally in society. Somehow after being on the brink of losing myself and nearly everything I cared for(combination of a bad prescription for a health issue and lots of real life drama earlier this year that I've been pulling myself out of) I've hit a point beyond what I had experienced before. I shattered when my world did.... but I was able to build myself up again. My own perception of myself and the people around me has shifted in a significant and life-changing way that I can't begin to explain. There's more...depth to everything, and I've become significantly aware of more of the layers of cause and effect in the world, which in turn has boosted my empathy, and brought me back to a point that I thought I had lost when I was a child. The world seems more full of color and wonder. I won't call it innocence, because I'm not so naive; but there's something to this world that I think I lost my understanding of on the way. 

I'm learning how to just BE again, but not in a way that means I won't work my ass off to protect myself and those I care about. There seems to be an idea in the world right now that negativity in our lives is of our own making, and some apparently will even go as far to say that if someone is being attacked, that it's their karma, and that the Magician should do nothing.... and I want to call bullshit on that. Is it my fault that I was born into an abusive household? Is it my young nephew's fault that his father thinks it's ok to put a shock collar on his neck as a form of punishment? Fuck no it isn't!

Is it someone's fault when they gamble away all of their money instead of paying a mortgage and taking care of their family? You bet! In the first situation, any responsible, GOOD person, should interfere, and though to this day I have no idea about the state of my nephew because I was forced to cut off ties with my toxic family, I did my damnedest behind the scenes to point authorities in the right direction, to open an investigation with the California State Department of Children's Services. I did what I could. I have no regrets.

 I wish someone had worked half as hard to get me out of my situation as a child instead of pretending my parents were lovely sane people. Maybe if they had, I wouldn't have been forced into a cosmetic surgery at 9 years old, the effects of which now allow me to use my legs as barometers, and sometimes leave me nearly crippled a few weeks out of the year. Anyone who says that I brought that situation upon myself, can take that opinion and shove it. I didn't subconsciously want to have my legs ripped open, broken, and have bolts shoved in them so I could spend the rest of my life wondering if I'd be able to walk or carry something the next day. Who the fuck would?

There's a point when the "everything negative in your life happens because of you" ends, and I think we as magicians really need to realize this. If you believe that, and you allow others to be harmed because it's "their karma" you need to look in the fucking mirror and realize that what you're experiencing is sociopathic behavior and thinking that you're somehow "more enlightened" because of it, is bullshit. Yeah I'm sure I'm going to get some flack for this, but frankly I don't give a damn, because I actually stand up for what I believe in, instead of hiding behind false hypocritical ideals. I'd be doing myself, and those in my life, physical and spiritual, a disservice to do otherwise.

I'm a Mage damn it, and so I'm going to do my damnedest to grow into the best person I can be. There is no going back, and no reason to. There's nothing to do but go forward, and establish my personal domain. The first steps have already been taken, and things are moving into place beautifully. All I had to do was ask, be honest with myself, and put forth the appropriate effort.