It's been busy here in my little universe. One thing after another, one step at a time, one step forward one step back... all leading to the realizations that I've had in the past few months. Sometimes you think you've seen the abyss, and then you realize that you've only scraped the surface of that inky blackness that lies below, all the while you're falling, silently screaming, because the world doesn't hear your voice. It doesn't acknowledge it. Your screams fall on closed ears, on closed hearts.
This is the desperate cry of humanity, this is the universe that we both love, and hate. It's the way of things that must change. We ignore the suffering of humanity. We see that trembling, dirty hand, reaching out of the shadows, the haunted eyes that have seen too much, and that yet, are daring to hope... and the world turns its back, and averts its gaze, continuing on, leaving the desperate behind, dehumanizing those who can't be a good cog in the machine. You may think you know. You may think you understand. But almost without exception, you do not. You will look for signs, for signals, ask for proof, and justify your hatred, or aversion of what you fear. This is human nature. Us or them, male or female, good or evil. We explore the universe in concepts of duality.
Life is for the strong, life is for those who deserve it, and those who deserve it is those who can prove their worth to those around them- that is the message that is sent from on high. (on high being of course the top offices of multi-national corporations that control the world economy)
And that, is the problem- our very society is structured around the idea that we have to be worth something "to others" and while this in itself isn't a bad thing (what's wrong with being helpful to each other?) it points out the issue that self-worth is almost an impossible feeling to attain without the praise of others. In a society that is based on judgement of a person's worth to "them" this creates a problem.
The problem is something that I've at least touched on in the past, that I have realized through my own explorations of my psyche: Humans (at least in this country) are so focused on separating the "human" from the "animal" that the concept that we ARE very much animals, and that this affects our society and psychology very strongly... is completely missed, or often misused by those in power who use this to their advantages.
We think we're so advanced, but we're children playing in a sandbox, playing at being adults. We're playing house, and missing the greater world around us, and even the small things in front of us. We should have so many advantages as humans- we are creators!... and yet... I see crows waiting at stop lights, waiting for the cross walk, hopping across the road as soon as the light changes. I've seen "animals" working together to aid each other gather food, or help each other in other ways... more than my eyes have seen humans do the same.
The city I live in, doesn't even have a 24 hour pharmacy anymore. There isn't even a single pharmacy downtown, and the clinic downtown is open at weird hours/days... those who need help, often have to travel to find it. Even with "healthcare reform" I've been unable to find a "real" dentist office anywhere who will take my insurance. I'm treated like a pariah as soon as it's discovered that I have insurance through the state, rather than something fancier. A friend of mine can't get even vital testing for a disease that runs in his family, because it's not "pre natal."
If he was pregnant, and there was a risk of passing it on to the child, they'd cover it... but because he's not, they refuse to pay for the testing that he needs, in order for his doctors to listen, and act... This is a double standard. He's alive, he's a human being, and he deserves to know whether he needs to start having yearly, invasive checkups, that the doctors also refuse to do, unless he actually has the diagnosis. $1600 out of pocket to find out if he's at risk for the same disease his father, and others in his family have, and yet... the doctors require diagnosis before treatment of any kind, even preventative treatment that would cause no harm to him to have.
In the city I live in, police chase off those who look "homeless" or "dressed poorly" telling them to leave town, because they "don't want them in their city" and people "loitering" in the downtown park where the food carts and benches are, where fresh, clean water is readily available... are harassed by officers, and threatened, told they have to leave after dark, because the park is "closed"...despite the food carts running and people buying food. It's a double standard, designed to gentrify the area, when it has a long, and rich history of being a place for the unfortunate to always have access to clean water, and a place to rest. The founders of the park would be horrified, but the "shareholders" who are working to gentrify the area have spoken.
We are numbers, checkmarks, statistics. Even when people can look us in the eyes, our lives are worth nothing other than what we can be sold...and if you can't be the "product" or the "consumer" then you are an outsider, a nothing.... dehumanized, silenced, stigmatized.
Yes, there are good people in the world... but we have to see through the lies first. We have to break through the illusions, and shatter them, before we can fight back in a way that does more than clatter against the armor of the serpent's scales, angering the beast enough to silence you completely.
This is why magic is important. We are the ones who dare to stare into the abyss. We are those who see through the illusions, and those who dare to leave the sandbox behind, to try to understand the greater world. We are all gods in training, and learning to see the sandbox for what it is, is the first step to the adulthood of humanity.
What will it take for us to see that we are all the same? That life, that experience is sacred, and that in the end, we all want, and all deserve the same basic needs as everyone else? Some people seem to think that people who suffer, suffer because they deserve it, or because they have a lesson to learn from it... In many cases, I will call bullshit... but what if your suffering is supposed to be a reminder, a look in the mirror, to the rest of humanity? A reminder that we are all human, and that we strive for acknowledgement from an uncaring world?
We try so hard to justify ignoring the suffering of others, that I've even seen "karma" cited as a reason in magical circles to not help people when they're clearly in trouble. It goes so far, that I've even seen things like "rape" justified as being a part of a "lesson" that someone apparently "needs" for their spiritual growth. This is of course, disgusting, utter bullshit, and the trap of sociopathy that egotistic magicians fall into.
Being a mage isn't about being uninvolved, and separating yourself from the rest of the world, and the rest of humanity....It's about knowing your own current well enough to walk into the world, and change it with your very presence....inspiring, creating, and aiding those who are trapped in the sandbox, so that they can stand with you- on their own two feet, instead of sinking into oblivion. What else are Gods supposed to be doing?
