To be Human

I read a short post over at Strategic Sorcery and it reminded me of something that I've had in my head for a long time, but never really put into words. It didn't just remind me, but it connected with me in the way that things sometimes do, and those things tell you that you're probably on the right track.

Some of you may know, that I've considered myself a part of the "otherkin" phenomena. Now, before you go running off after hearing that word, hear me out.

I'm going to give you a little background. When I was younger I went through some very traumatic experiences. After some of these experiences, I found that I didn't feel as "human" as I had before. I felt animalistic, and my mind connected it to the imagery of the werewolf. Except this thing that I felt I somehow was, wasn't my "enemy" it wasn't something I demonized. It was something that was an aspect of myself, and this image I had gained of myself as this powerful, fantastical creature, gave me strength, and helped me to protect myself from people and things that would try to harm me later.

I learned to see myself as an animal, and as a part of the universe. It probably sounds odd, but in learning to be a wolf, I learned what it is to be human. We are animals, and I think far too many people forget that, or want to make us into something that we are not. We are animals that can become Gods, but only if we are able to recognize and accept that we are animals first.

We are sexual, we are selfish, we are loving, we are opportunistic omnivores, and we just happen to have this big brain that allows us to make choices about what we do with all of it.

As for the otherkin thing, at this point I'm fairly convinced that despite any strange "phantom limbs" or any other oddness, that it's just that I saw myself as a wolf-thing for so long, that my awesome monkey-brain rewired itself in ways to fit that image, to physical sensations on my physical body.

It's just sad that it took me thinking that I wasn't "human" first, to learn that what it is to be human, is what it is to be an animal.

I think this is one the of the reasons I connect to the Egyptian pantheon so well. One of their core beliefs was basically Human+Animal= divine. The Egyptians understood that they were human-animals, and lived in ways that acknowledged this. They didn't worship nature- they were a part of it!

These are things that I think we've lost in much of modern civilization : We've forgotten how to be animals, and so forgotten how to be human, much less Gods.

Please stand by

I just wanted to let people know that I'm still around. Things have just gotten pretty crazy with my non-magical life right now, and I'm busy working, and teaching myself how to manage my time. This is a GOOD sort of crazy though. This is the sort of crazy where you pull lots of hours at work, make time to work out at the gym twice a week, and still manage to squeeze in a few hours here and there to be social, and do things around the house. It's hectic, but I should have my time management figured out enough to make another update in a couple of weeks.

This job is something I'd been working hard to find for a while, and it kind of just fell into my lap (or was enchanted into my lap, either way!) So here I am, busy as all hell, and diving right into more! :)