Patterns

After about a week (or two? I lose track of time) of getting back into the swing of things, I'm starting to notice things again. I've been convinced ever since I was younger, that there is a pattern to how things unfold in life. Whether this is because of some divine mechanism, or something else, I've never been sure.  

There have been times in my life when the pattern of cause and effect have been all too apparent, and/or there have been things happen that almost seem to foreshadow an event to come. Sometimes it's catching a word on the radio, getting a weird feeling, and then not thinking anything of it. Then you realize an eerie connection after the fact, when something related to that word happens to a friend. It's almost like a feeling of deja-vu when you stumble upon one of the "patterns" as I think of them. It's like the universe is speaking to you, and telling you to listen, because something is going to be important. 

This happened again today for the first time in ages. I was visiting a friend up in the Seattle area, and as we were driving, I kept seeing the name of another friend who lived in the region. It showed up on street signs, church signs, and other places. I thought nothing of it at first. I mentioned it to the friend I was with, because I thought it was cute when we went through a town with the same name. We hung out, had a great time, and then I had to catch my ride home. Once I've made the switch between vehicles and I'm headed home, I start noticing the street signs. I get this weird feeling and start wondering for a moment if it's somehow indicative of  that friend being in trouble. Then the next street sign had MY actual birth name on it, and I felt a chill. I took it as a sign, and immediately texted the friend in question, asking her if she was ok. I figured my fears would be put to rest as nothing more than the result of my overactive imagination. My heart sank when I got the message that she wasn't ok at all. As I found out, there had been a serious problem with her medication, and she was in a bad state. I let her know that if she needed anything while I was in the area, that she could call me, and my boyfriend and I would be there. She said she'd be ok, and I'm hoping that's the case. I have very mixed feelings about the situation. While on one hand I'm glad that my psychic skills are picking up again, I'm also very concerned about her health. I'm hoping that's all that the universe was telling me, and that there isn't more yet to happen. That's the problem with patterns- you never know where one ends and another begins.  

Why Netjer?

 The word Netjer, is a word that I've adopted from the Kemetic faith, who in turn adopted it from an ancient Egyptian word, meaning "divine power" or "god(s)" While I've found this word to be useful, as it is becoming much more widespread in pagan circles; I also understand that it confuses some people into thinking that I am part of the Kemetic faith. I'm not. Nor am I a member of any particular re-constructionist faiths pertaining to ancient Egypt. I did research a few of these groups after I started working with Egyptian gods, but I found them to be wanting.

I understand this may offend some people out there, but in my opinion, we can't reconstruct the religion of the ancient Egyptians. We just don't know enough about how the common people lived and worshiped, or have the cultural immersion to understand and make connections to even begin to guess at deeper cultural meanings within the stories and mythology.

The bulk of the writings we have, are composed of lots of names, and about the journey of the pharaoh to Duat, maybe some history here and there, with more names and talking about bloodlines. A lot of the stories and roles of the gods are focused around the protection or judging of the pharaoh, or the gods fighting each other, or trying to seduce each other. Where's the stories about how the gods relate to the common people? I mean, yeah there's the story of Sekhmet, when she goes on a rampage, kills lots of people, and has to be placated... but that tells us nothing about the worship of the common people.

We are not pharaohs, and most of us don't even have credentials in Egyptology. I know I sure as hell don't.  We can only guess at how the common people viewed, and interacted with their gods. Because of this, I don't try to recreate an ancient religion. While I understand that some people do, and I respect that, I find no meaning or purpose in it.

I may take ancient titles, and call the gods by these during ritual work. I may look to the west to call upon Anubis, as west is the direction of the setting sun, and so the direction associated with death, and the underworld. I do these things with the knowledge that I am constructing, not re-constructing the way that I work with these deities, and the way that I approach the ritual work associated with them.

Sekhmet

A few nights ago, I started having dreams about Sekhmet. As this is also how Anubis first made contact with me, I decided to take it seriously. Unlike Anubis, Sekhmet was more direct, specifically speaking to me in the dream and giving me her blessing. She spoke and told me "You have the blessing of the Lion of War" In the dream, I didn't specifically know it was her. I only knew her as more than "The Lion of War" upon waking, and recognizing her as Sekhmet.

I meditated on this, and realized that her coming into my life at this time is actually very fitting. While Anubis is a deity that I associate much more with a watery quality, Sekhmet is much more fiery. Indeed one of her titles is "Lady of the Flame" That kind of spark is just what I need to get out of my stagnating rut, and to help me grow, and banish my inner demons. I won't stop working with Anubis, but earlier today I decided to do a working to call Sekhmet, and actually start a working relationship with her.

On that note, I've also been making myself more conscious of when certain emotions or ideas overcome me. I was sitting at my laptop, and specifically got a jolt where I thought "now is the time, I have to do the ritual now!" I checked the planetary day and hour, and it was perfect. Day of Mars, Hour of Mars. What better a time for calling the Lion of War?

I immediately cleared a space on my floor in front of my altar, and went hunting for the supplies I would need. It didn't take long before I dug out a red candle, a stick of raw cinnamon, and set up the altar with my Sekhmet dagger (hand carved last year, with the intent to sell, but it never sold)

I set up the altar with the red candle, and placed it in a dish. A large bone sat next to it. A giant quartz crystal sat at the back, holding the dagger up, with Sekhmet's face facing me. A large chunk amethyst was also placed on the altar, to help facilitate a psychic connection.

I lit the candle, and proceeded to do the LBRP to clear the area and myself of negativity. I used the Sekhemet dagger for the work. It wasn't the strongest LBRP I've ever done, but it was still good. I still felt the rush when my body was in the Tau pose, and the angels had been called upon.

With that completed, began to call Sekhmet. While I was calling her, I burnt the cinnamon over the flame, and made an offering of rum in the dish. It took her awhile to arrive, but when she did, it was clear. I felt a weight/power upon me that was nearly overwhelming. Having never worked with a solar deity, I wasn't prepared for the type of energy I had called upon. My body felt warm, the sort of warm you get when you have a pile of laundry fresh out of the dryer, and the presence was very obvious.

I thanked her for coming, and for her blessing, and while I can't actually "communicate" with entities on a level more than "this feels right or wrong" it was clear when she had accepted my terms. My active portion of the ritual had ended. I left the candle burning, the energy from which is being used to cement our working relationship. When the candle burns out, it should light the rum on fire, sending the offering to the Lady of the Flame :)

(edit) apparently I miscalculated. I started the ritual in about the middle of the hour of Jupiter, not Mars. So while I thought I might be somehow sensing the planetary hour, I'll have to chalk this up to a happy coincidence, that the hour of Mars was coming up. Sekhemet would have shown up around when the hour of Mars started though- so my intent may have also delayed her, as my focus had been to do the working at the hour of Mars. I'll have to pay more attention in the future and gain a better understanding of the planetary hours, and how they affect my workings.

Introduction

Ever since seeing other friends of mine joining the blog bandwagon, I've considered getting a blog of my own. I argued with myself for a while, feeling like I didn't really have anything worth writing down, either for myself or for others. So what's my goal with this blog? Well, I'm not entirely sure yet myself. I suppose I'm hoping that starting a blog will urge me to write more and become more serious in my magical practices.

Originally a native of California, and being forced to move around a lot in the past...five years (Wow, it's really been that long? Yeah this is way overdue. ) hasn't been good for my magical practice. In fact, it's made me little more than a dabbler. It's hard for me to say that, it's not something I'm proud of. I used to be serious about my magical practice, doing morning rituals, evening rituals, and working hard to better myself. Oh, and I was arrogant, that didn't help. When you feel like you're some powerful force to be reckoned with, and practically steps from "enlightenment" Yeah, you aren't there yet, in fact nowhere near.

I've come to terms with this. Devoting yourself to the Great Work is hard. It takes time, dedication, and lots of time management skills. So what does this have to do with the title of the blog?  I've decided to return to my magical roots, start over, learn the lessons I didn't learn before, and hopefully grow into a better and stronger person for it. (Minus the arrogance of course)  My roots lie in working with the Egyptian pantheon. Originally I mainly just worked with Anubis in his aspect as a guardian. That's what I needed at that point in life. When I was a teenager and lived in an abusive household, I needed something to protect me. To me, this was Anubis, guardian and protector of orphans and lost souls. I had some other ideas about him at the time that were inaccurate (that he was a healer for example, and not just Lord of the Mummy Wrappings) I worked with him and engrossed myself in a magical life from age 13 to 18, and sometime after that I fell out of practice as much. Sure I still worked with my oracle cards, did some candle magic, fooled around with crystals, and did the LBRP one or twice a year or so, but my progress began to focus more on the material instead of the spiritual- mainly getting a job and establishing myself in the world.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think there's anything wrong with material pursuits. But I didn't know how to make time for magic. My time management skills were poor, and then I didn't know HOW I could practice while living in the dorms at college. I remember sometimes going up onto the roof of the building and doing my meditations and prayers up there, overlooking Lake Union and the towering mountains and city at the other side. But it wasn't the same as when I had my own private space.

Now I'm 23, out of work except for the occasional graphic design job, or painting commission (which always seem to show up right when I "NEED" them) and I find myself looking back towards magic, and how much more fulfilled I felt in my life when I was actively working towards the Great Work.

I'm hoping this blog will help motivate me to write about my experiences, and to have MORE experiences :)

The next post will be more interesting. I promise.