Professionalism- He does not have it

One of the problems I run into with modeling of any kind, is how to get information out of photographers about what it is they actually want. I've gotten pretty good at this, and my work with Sekhmet seems to help me perfect the art of "candor" I've learned to be blunt and open, so that everything is on the table. The other side of the coin is that this is also the art of calling people on their bullshit, and often open and blunt, isn't very polite.

I've been chatting back and forth with a photographer out near Olympia, and was setting up a shoot with him. He'd seemed a little odd, but I was sure it was just him being eccentric. When I confirmed that I was interested, and wanted to set up a day to work with him, he sent me this:

"You'll be shooting erotica with my 35 year old son.
He will pay your rate and do the shoot. I am asking him to do some experimental work for me with the use of an iPhone instaed of a pro camera - it's easiier to tavel with less elecronic gear through TSA and is lighter weight using less battery than normal - yet the results are much better than expected. "


Whoa, whoa, wait, what?


First off, where did the "erotica" bit come from, and why are you getting your son, who I have never talked to, who we never discussed, to shoot pictures of me, when you said YOU were going to do it?


This was the stuff going through my head, instead I replied with:


"(Name of Photographer),

I'm going to have to decline. I signed up to shoot with you, not someone I know nothing about, and the fact that this has been sprung on me like this makes me very uncomfortable. I do not think I will be working with you"

He replied, saying that "We're not monsters dear" but at this point it's not worth saying more. 
Sekhmet has reinforced the idea that I need to stand up for what I believe in, walk my talk, and regardless of any justifications this person can give, therefore I shouldn't give them any of my time at this point.

Regardless of whether or not these individuals are "monsters," it doesn't matter. Humans make errors in judgment, it's part of what makes us human. Some of us make errors in judgment more often than others, and that includes things like poor communication skills and pushing boundaries without meaning to. In a high risk choice of work like I'm in, I can't afford to accept apologies and justifications. I travel around the country, often alone, to model for strange people with cameras who I have often never met.  An error was made, and it was one that completely disregarded any common sense about communicating logistics, which is a huge part of being a professional in any field.

There was a time that I would have felt guilty for turning down a job because someone made a mistake. I was more desperate then, and I didn't have the sense of self and confidence that I have gained since beginning my work with Sekhmet. I don't have to justify myself to anyone. I'm better than that. I'm making at least enough by myself to keep my head above water. I go on fantastic adventures with photographers who drive me into the woods, or the desert to secluded places where few humans ever tread. I don't need people who give me the run around. I'm building relationships with awesome people out here who want to have a continuous mutually beneficial arrangement as professionals in our field.

I work hard to communicate clearly, put everything on the table, and be open to bartering when it comes to rate, and the budget of the photographer. I do my damnedest to make sure that  I am comfortable, safe, and that the photographer is as well. I won't settle for anything less, and that's ok.
I'm worth it, and so are the people who I actually choose to work with. This is one of the biggest ways I've worked with Sekhmet and applied it to every day life. She is the Lion of War (physical as well as internal battles), she is Strength, and the lessons I have learned from her have been invaluable.