Cosmic Wedgie - Messages from the Universe

Ogy and I have talked at length after we finally started getting settled here in the Pacific Northwest. We've noticed a strange phenomena in the previous months, that have led us to where we are now. (safe, stable, among good people, with loads of resources available to us, thank fuck.) Pennsylvania chewed us up and spit us out. Regardless of where we were, once we started hemming and hawing and not actually trying to leave... everything went to hell.

We tried to wait on a company that said they were going to hire Ogy, and make him tons of money. - we started having problems being able to get resources to do things like eat and drink well. I started having more health problems, and people with backstabbing natures started showing themselves.

I started doing simple sigil magic to try to move the forces in our favor. Every day when I was getting out of the bath/shower. I'd do a meditation, and draw a specific sigil on the fogged up mirror glass, with the sigil overlapping my reflection as I drew it, and put my intent into it. I wanted those barriers, those things keeping us from what we wanted, to shatter.

Maybe I'm a masochist, but when I do magic, I don't put in safeguards against possibly having to suffer more before I get what I'm working for. If the currents shifting means that things NEED to get worse before they can get better, then sure, damn me for a while.

In this case, the path out was me getting so sick that I needed recovery somewhere where I had regular access to clean water and food- and that was Ogy's parents place near Pittsburgh. When I finally started recovering, we considered staying there for a while. "Just long enough to do some modeling work in the city, so we can buy plane tickets out" ....and then like magic, Ogy's mom has a psychotic episode, and kicks us to the curb to "go find a homeless shelter" ...... somehow through all of this, there was no fear. There was just an animalistic defiance. I held my head high, held Ogy's hand, and we went off into the night. When it looked like we weren't going to have a place to sleep that night, I made a phone call.

That friend had never even met Ogy before....and yet, they bought both of us tickets out on the next day's train. I'd been prepared to sleep in the woods, and have the cops help us get our stuff out of his parents house the next day...and after that, probably hitch hike across the country.

As soon as those tickets were bought, our luck turned around. We met some people at the gas station across town when we were looking for the homeless shelter. We were offered a place to sleep, and other resources. After that, we got the call that we could come back to the house, and were able to sleep there.

The next day, we were gone. We were hugged, kissed, told we were loved, loaded up on food, and boarded the train. The trip itself was uneventful, but we had food, water, each other, and were treated fantastically when we arrived in Portland. I was "home" in body, mind, and spirit.

We've had some bumps here and there, but things have been coming together. (and I still haven't given up on jewelry stuff either) We've been meeting people, making a home for ourselves, and have started talking about our next steps in our individual personal journeys and work. It literally seems like everything has been working out for us, to the point that we've been offered jobs taking care of the landlady's properties, helping with landscaping, and some other general upkeep. - I can't do most of it, but Ogy can. If we can find the key for it, we can also drive one of the vehicles on the property. (time to do some magic for that too)

I've never seen things just...completely turn around like this. It was to the point that I wondered if I'd been crossed. But now I wonder, did I cross myself? My "go ahead and damn me for awhile" attitude, might have had something to do with it. Maybe it has before as well.

But I still have to wonder if it was what Ogy suggested to me: Dharma.

If that somehow in the truest sense of the word, we went against our collective Dharma by spending all of our money trying to stay in one place because of the promise of a job (that my readings gave inconclusive results on) that we thought would have fixed everything.....instead of doing what we said we were going to do in the first place- which is take our money and go to Washington together.

If that is the case, then was the cause me, the magic done, or was it the Universe literally giving us a cosmic wedgie to tell us that there was nothing more to see or learn there, and to "move along" ? Maybe some combination of all of the above?

I've noticed that when I'm not responding properly to a situation, that I can't "hear" the spirits I work with as easily. It's a radio I have to tune, because I'm literally operating on the wrong frequency. Maybe this occurs on a larger scale. I'd been told for months, that I needed to change how I was living, and that I needed to focus on my art more, because it was what I "really wanted to do" (tm)
I didn't have access to places for art supplies, my computer was broken, and I was turning back to modeling to try to make ends meet. - in that sense I was in a place and situation that didn't meet my needs for development. But again, was it myself, or higher powers that  brought on the "temporary crossed condition"?

It's all good now, except for my anxiety that "the other shoe is going to drop" and then I'll have nothing again... but I've got graphic design work going, as well as a mask project.. which is allowing me to bulk up my portfolio, and learn even more tricks with Photoshop and Illustrator. It doesn't feel like a "chore" either. I've been enjoying working on the things I'm working on.

We appear to have also mysteriously lost a housemate who was only here for a month, whose presence would have complicated some opportunities that we've been given. I was even handed an omen about it, mentioned it to Ogy about three days ago, and found out today that it was true. That sort of thing hadn't happened in a long while.

Last time something like this happened, it was when I was trying to run away from my previous relationship, and turned off the lamp on my desk when I was leaving with all my stuff....and it had this strange, strange, sense of finality. Almost like the life of something had been snuffed out in the process, and I had the very clear feeling that I would never be turning that lamp on again.... and I didn't. When I was talked into coming back, and tried to turn the light on...it had burnt out. No warning, just gone- like the illusion of a loving and trusting relationship that I tried to hold onto.

This time, I was in the bathroom cleaning up, and the housemate's towel mysteriously fell from the hook. It had been on there pretty solidy before, and I'd never touched it. I had the sudden, strange feeling that he would never be coming home. I'd known he'd ended up in jail because of a complication with his car title...but we were under the impression that he'd just be spending a night or two as a slap on the wrist, and maybe a fine.

He was supposed to be out two days ago. We got the call this morning that he wouldn't be living here anymore. Apparently there's been a string of offenses over the years, and he's likely going to be in for a year as a result. I'd had some concerns about him potentially bringing trouble down on us, but it looks like that issue has already been taken care of.

Maybe a year behind bars will tell him that driving an uninsured, untitled vehicle, with a suspended license, that got suspended due to a hit and run on a parked car, is a bad idea, and that maybe his license was taken away for a reason. I doubt it, but at least I got an omen out of it?

Since apparently lightbulbs and towels can be omens in the proper context, and you "know" what it is, when you see/feel it....and I guess this whole thing with me being back on the right frequency works on a number of levels. Or maybe it's that I'm not sick and malnourished anymore. *shrug*