Do you know your gods?

My relationship with Sekhmet has been on and off again for a few years now. As I get to know her and work with her, I find myself realizing something: I don't know her. I never have.

Sure, I've read her stories, sure I've read literature on how she and Bast have shared similar roles and crossed over one another. Sure I've read about her associations with this or that through the ages... but what does it actually mean?

As my experiences with Upwawet unfold, and the dance between him and who I know as "Anubis" continues, I find that the dance just leads me deeper.

These entities, are far more than the sum of their stories. They have depths, layers upon layers, like the pages and chapters of the earth itself... but how many of us treat them this way?  How many of us assume that because we're working with them, that we can somehow represent them? I've seen it happen with people I know, claiming they're doing that particular god's work, do something in their name, or that such and such god would  "want" things a certain way.  I've even seen people claiming that once you start working with a particular god or goddess, that you're somehow their priest or priestess....and this couldn't be farther from the truth.

Just because you can call on a spirit and talk to them, does not mean that you have the right to represent them. Just because you may have talked to an entity for years, does not mean that you have the right to represent them.

While I've done what I can to "avoid" the label of priestess over the years, I find that the label still sticks.  All I can really do is try to avoid the fallout that could come with it.

But the point is... Sekhmet, Anubis, whoever, they're "people" and just like people, they have quirks, triggers, and things they're good or bad at accomplishing. While they most certainly don't run an OS that we could identify as "human" they are still individuals in their own right. A few books, and a few successful evocations of a god or spirit doesn't mean you suddenly work for them, or can act as their representative.

I remember the first couple of years that I knew Sekhmet. I was convinced that she was an embodiment of primal rage and judgement.... thought that she was also an embodiment of fire, a "lion of war" ....and I wasn't necessarily wrong. What was wrong was that I dismissed those who worshiped her as a "mother" goddess. I was convinced that they were the sort who just taking every "female" god-form and turn it into the form of the divine feminine, without actually referencing historical or cultural context...or they'd confused her with Bast.

Since then I understand a bit more about how Sekhmet can be related to a "mother" figure, though that isn't a primary aspect in my experiences with her.  I've been working with her off and on for around three years. I feel like I barely know her. I know "her" but not the conscious knowledge of who and what she is, all wrapped up in separately, and well defined packages. I lack the experience to properly convey the words that describe who she actually is. Anything else is like saying that a list of likes and dislikes, is enough to understand and know the person that has them.

I worked with Anubis for the better part of a decade before we finally broke the ice enough that I saw another side of him. When I was 13-16 I did twice daily prayers, burnt candles, incense, mediated, did evocations, and still, even after all that time, I wasn't shown this side of him until I needed it. I wasn't a child to be coddled, he made sure I knew when it was time to put on the big girl pants, and actually get to work, and to make it "easier" his sense of sardonic humor kicked in. Sometimes at my expense, but always to my benefit despite it.

It always seems like they know me better than I know myself. They see through my blindness, they know, through my confusion. And yet, I only really have a handful of words that I could say about them, and who they seem to be.

Do you know your gods? They know you... so maybe we should all put the effort forward to try. It's the least we can do, for ourselves and for them. In knowing them, perhaps we can start piecing together the mystery of ourselves.