I read a short post over at Strategic Sorcery and it reminded me of something that I've had in my head for a long time, but never really put into words. It didn't just remind me, but it connected with me in the way that things sometimes do, and those things tell you that you're probably on the right track.
Some of you may know, that I've considered myself a part of the "otherkin" phenomena. Now, before you go running off after hearing that word, hear me out.
I'm going to give you a little background. When I was younger I went through some very traumatic experiences. After some of these experiences, I found that I didn't feel as "human" as I had before. I felt animalistic, and my mind connected it to the imagery of the werewolf. Except this thing that I felt I somehow was, wasn't my "enemy" it wasn't something I demonized. It was something that was an aspect of myself, and this image I had gained of myself as this powerful, fantastical creature, gave me strength, and helped me to protect myself from people and things that would try to harm me later.
I learned to see myself as an animal, and as a part of the universe. It probably sounds odd, but in learning to be a wolf, I learned what it is to be human. We are animals, and I think far too many people forget that, or want to make us into something that we are not. We are animals that can become Gods, but only if we are able to recognize and accept that we are animals first.
We are sexual, we are selfish, we are loving, we are opportunistic omnivores, and we just happen to have this big brain that allows us to make choices about what we do with all of it.
As for the otherkin thing, at this point I'm fairly convinced that despite any strange "phantom limbs" or any other oddness, that it's just that I saw myself as a wolf-thing for so long, that my awesome monkey-brain rewired itself in ways to fit that image, to physical sensations on my physical body.
It's just sad that it took me thinking that I wasn't "human" first, to learn that what it is to be human, is what it is to be an animal.
I think this is one the of the reasons I connect to the Egyptian pantheon so well. One of their core beliefs was basically Human+Animal= divine. The Egyptians understood that they were human-animals, and lived in ways that acknowledged this. They didn't worship nature- they were a part of it!
These are things that I think we've lost in much of modern civilization : We've forgotten how to be animals, and so forgotten how to be human, much less Gods.
The exploratory writings and magical experiences of a Hermetic Egypto-Pagan.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Please stand by
I just wanted to let people know that I'm still around. Things have just gotten pretty crazy with my non-magical life right now, and I'm busy working, and teaching myself how to manage my time. This is a GOOD sort of crazy though. This is the sort of crazy where you pull lots of hours at work, make time to work out at the gym twice a week, and still manage to squeeze in a few hours here and there to be social, and do things around the house. It's hectic, but I should have my time management figured out enough to make another update in a couple of weeks.
This job is something I'd been working hard to find for a while, and it kind of just fell into my lap (or was enchanted into my lap, either way!) So here I am, busy as all hell, and diving right into more! :)
This job is something I'd been working hard to find for a while, and it kind of just fell into my lap (or was enchanted into my lap, either way!) So here I am, busy as all hell, and diving right into more! :)
Monday, February 7, 2011
Musings On Magic and Cultural Appropriation
In the pagan community, one often hears about "cultural appropriation" and how terrible it is. As a pagan myself, and having heard the numerous terrible things about people appropriating Native American culture and practices, and misrepresenting tribal culture and tradition, it's no wonder that cultural appropriation has such a bad name.
What does this mean for those of us who practice magic of a Jewish flavor, like Kaballah? For those of us who are not Jewish, who do not even have Jewish family or anything rooting us to it by blood or marriage, what business do we have using Kabballah? What business do we have speaking the god names, and working within a magical mythos that we have no ties to, other than practice? What does this mean for me as someone who identifies as pagan? I'm basically someone who has taken old gods of the Egyptians, the people who enslaved and killed Jews according to the Torah. How do I even reconcile the fact that I work with Egyptian gods, and yet work in Kabbalah, a system which I have appropriated from a culture that I'm not even a part of.
People who work in Kabbalah, and who are not of Jewish blood, are guilty of cultural appropriation. The question becomes, does that make it wrong? To answer that, we have to look at why cultural appropriation has been a problem in the past. To look at a more modern example, lets look again to the Native Americans. There are plenty of New Agers who have no idea what they're doing, who have no training, who try to run sweat lodges, and end up killing people who thought that they were some kind of leader. Great example, and a recent one. The person who ran the sweat lodge, appropriated native practices to fit his agenda- making money off of the gullible who thought he was some kind of guru. Then there are other people who claim to be shaman of a native flavor, without understanding what that actually means, and without having ties to any actual native shamanic tradition outside of the "new age" phenomenon. It appears that this mostly becomes a problem when dealing with people who claim to be a leader, a spiritual authority in an area that they have no business with.
There's a reason why cultural appropriation is so common right now. There's a reason why people are turning left and right to different religions and cultures to find identity. At least here in America, we don't have a culture. We don't have a mythos or framework we can turn to. Even our bedtime stories, our fairy tales, all come from a continent away. Cultural appropriation becomes a problem because we have no culture without adopting from another. The problem isn't so much cultural appropriation, but the con men who make a living off of it: the people who both exploit and discredit the cultures they are taking from. There will always be con men though, and there will always be people to fall for their cons.
Western magical practice is not exempt from this. How much "knowledge" was supposedly taken from Tibet, according to magical history writings in the early to mid 1900s? How much do Hermetic groups claim their lineages back to ancient Egypt, when it is likely not true? Western magic is rife with appropriation!
Now we're back to the question though: Is cultural appropriation wrong? I think the answer is no. Cultural "exploitation" is wrong, but the appropriation in and of itself is not. Appropriation isn't something that is going to stop, and is a big part of how we learn and grow. The thing we have to do as responsible mages, is we have to check ourselves. Do we have the authority to do what we're doing? Is something you're doing damaging to others who you may have taken ideas from? We also have to put our foot down when we see con men and women in our communities. If these people have less of a chance of flying under the radar, we will have done more to help the magical communities we know and love, as well as prevent others from becoming victims.
What does this mean for those of us who practice magic of a Jewish flavor, like Kaballah? For those of us who are not Jewish, who do not even have Jewish family or anything rooting us to it by blood or marriage, what business do we have using Kabballah? What business do we have speaking the god names, and working within a magical mythos that we have no ties to, other than practice? What does this mean for me as someone who identifies as pagan? I'm basically someone who has taken old gods of the Egyptians, the people who enslaved and killed Jews according to the Torah. How do I even reconcile the fact that I work with Egyptian gods, and yet work in Kabbalah, a system which I have appropriated from a culture that I'm not even a part of.
People who work in Kabbalah, and who are not of Jewish blood, are guilty of cultural appropriation. The question becomes, does that make it wrong? To answer that, we have to look at why cultural appropriation has been a problem in the past. To look at a more modern example, lets look again to the Native Americans. There are plenty of New Agers who have no idea what they're doing, who have no training, who try to run sweat lodges, and end up killing people who thought that they were some kind of leader. Great example, and a recent one. The person who ran the sweat lodge, appropriated native practices to fit his agenda- making money off of the gullible who thought he was some kind of guru. Then there are other people who claim to be shaman of a native flavor, without understanding what that actually means, and without having ties to any actual native shamanic tradition outside of the "new age" phenomenon. It appears that this mostly becomes a problem when dealing with people who claim to be a leader, a spiritual authority in an area that they have no business with.
There's a reason why cultural appropriation is so common right now. There's a reason why people are turning left and right to different religions and cultures to find identity. At least here in America, we don't have a culture. We don't have a mythos or framework we can turn to. Even our bedtime stories, our fairy tales, all come from a continent away. Cultural appropriation becomes a problem because we have no culture without adopting from another. The problem isn't so much cultural appropriation, but the con men who make a living off of it: the people who both exploit and discredit the cultures they are taking from. There will always be con men though, and there will always be people to fall for their cons.
Western magical practice is not exempt from this. How much "knowledge" was supposedly taken from Tibet, according to magical history writings in the early to mid 1900s? How much do Hermetic groups claim their lineages back to ancient Egypt, when it is likely not true? Western magic is rife with appropriation!
Now we're back to the question though: Is cultural appropriation wrong? I think the answer is no. Cultural "exploitation" is wrong, but the appropriation in and of itself is not. Appropriation isn't something that is going to stop, and is a big part of how we learn and grow. The thing we have to do as responsible mages, is we have to check ourselves. Do we have the authority to do what we're doing? Is something you're doing damaging to others who you may have taken ideas from? We also have to put our foot down when we see con men and women in our communities. If these people have less of a chance of flying under the radar, we will have done more to help the magical communities we know and love, as well as prevent others from becoming victims.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Books!
There's one thing a lot of people seem to dread getting for Christmas: gift cards.
I'm not one of those people. So when I unwrapped the box that contained my $50 gift card to Powells from Erelin; it was with a squeal of delight.
After scarfing down our burgers from Carl's, we headed out last night to the book store. In case you aren't familiar with Powells Books, and you consider yourself a bibliophile... It's safe to say you've probably never had your bookstore cherry popped, and should consider yourself still a virgin. Its the biggest book store on the west coast, if not in the world. It's a building the size of a city block stacked several stories high, and it's full of books. They have a huge selection of everything you could think of, including a rare book room, where I've seen old grimoires going for thousands of dollars, tucked away behind a heavy door.
I only had $50 however, so I made do with wandering between the metaphysical section and books on painting. I started with checking the carts off to the side of the shelves. As I was looking through them, Erelin spotted something I'd missed: a small hardbound copy of the Kybalion. It's missing its dust jacket, but it's in excellent condition. I never would have guessed that I was holding a book that was over 100 years old. I netted it for $10. Upon further inspection, it contained a card inside showing that it was once the property of a Masonic lodge in Chicago. It also has a name inside, with an address and a date. (Wilma C.Light 1116 Fteley Ave Sep. 1928) I love it when my books have a bit of history :)
I proceeded to find other things which were interesting, but not near as old. I'm now the happy owner of
The Kybalion, Hermetic Philosophy by the Three Initiates
The Astral Plane by C. W. Leadbeater
The Kabbalah Unveiled by Macgreggor Mathers
An obscure little tarot pamphlet by Diane Ronngren, which apparently originally came with a tape set. (I'll be checking if I can find a copy of the tape contents on Mp3 or CD)
And I also picked up Color and Light: A Guide for the Realist Painter by James Gurney
All in all, it was a great evening, with a great haul! Good thing I'm getting another bookcase soon :D
I'm not one of those people. So when I unwrapped the box that contained my $50 gift card to Powells from Erelin; it was with a squeal of delight.
After scarfing down our burgers from Carl's, we headed out last night to the book store. In case you aren't familiar with Powells Books, and you consider yourself a bibliophile... It's safe to say you've probably never had your bookstore cherry popped, and should consider yourself still a virgin. Its the biggest book store on the west coast, if not in the world. It's a building the size of a city block stacked several stories high, and it's full of books. They have a huge selection of everything you could think of, including a rare book room, where I've seen old grimoires going for thousands of dollars, tucked away behind a heavy door.
I only had $50 however, so I made do with wandering between the metaphysical section and books on painting. I started with checking the carts off to the side of the shelves. As I was looking through them, Erelin spotted something I'd missed: a small hardbound copy of the Kybalion. It's missing its dust jacket, but it's in excellent condition. I never would have guessed that I was holding a book that was over 100 years old. I netted it for $10. Upon further inspection, it contained a card inside showing that it was once the property of a Masonic lodge in Chicago. It also has a name inside, with an address and a date. (Wilma C.Light 1116 Fteley Ave Sep. 1928) I love it when my books have a bit of history :)
I proceeded to find other things which were interesting, but not near as old. I'm now the happy owner of
The Kybalion, Hermetic Philosophy by the Three Initiates
The Astral Plane by C. W. Leadbeater
The Kabbalah Unveiled by Macgreggor Mathers
An obscure little tarot pamphlet by Diane Ronngren, which apparently originally came with a tape set. (I'll be checking if I can find a copy of the tape contents on Mp3 or CD)
And I also picked up Color and Light: A Guide for the Realist Painter by James Gurney
All in all, it was a great evening, with a great haul! Good thing I'm getting another bookcase soon :D
Friday, December 31, 2010
Goodbye 2010
2011 is just around the corner, and in the last couple of weeks, some significant things have happened. Most of the year, was full of drama, financial problems, heart wrenching moments. These recent things however are good. I have a job again. It's a job that was willing to take me back after I hadn't worked there for a year and a half, and a job that went from being just holiday work, to actual lasting employment. I'm discovering how wonderful it is to have a job that actually cares about me again, and treats me like a human being. It'll pay rent, and take care of my basic needs, and won't overwhelm me with stress. Great, that's all I really need. I live pretty simply. I've got my studio apartment downtown that I share with the one I love, and my lizard.
I worked for a few months to try to find work, but when Mercury retrograde hit, things went pretty still. No matter how many rites I worked, or talismans I charged, work was slow in coming. I was still able to find gigs here and there that made ends meet (I tend to be very resourceful with finding one time jobs) and that's what saved us.
I won't really miss 2010. It was a year of struggles; fighting to keep my head, and my boyfriend's head above water. Things went awry left and right, and trust I had in certain people close to me was shattered beyond repair.
I've got plans for 2011. I've got things I'm going to fight for. I'm determined to make it a better year.
I worked for a few months to try to find work, but when Mercury retrograde hit, things went pretty still. No matter how many rites I worked, or talismans I charged, work was slow in coming. I was still able to find gigs here and there that made ends meet (I tend to be very resourceful with finding one time jobs) and that's what saved us.
I won't really miss 2010. It was a year of struggles; fighting to keep my head, and my boyfriend's head above water. Things went awry left and right, and trust I had in certain people close to me was shattered beyond repair.
I've got plans for 2011. I've got things I'm going to fight for. I'm determined to make it a better year.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Offerings
You may remember when I started trying to work with Sekhmet. It was pointed out to me that one of the reasons why she may not have responded right away, was the quality of my offering. It wasn't something I had really considered before. With Anubis, he's practically right there when I call. But Erelin pointed out to me that an offering is meant to be something you put effort into getting for the spirit. I don't drink, so dipping into a rum bottle that had been sitting around forever, and pouring some for Sekhmet, isn't actually that great of an offering, considering I just walked into the kitchen to get it. It wasn't special, it was just something I had around.
With that in mind, I went the extra mile with getting the supplies for the offering to the Spirits of Venus. (and I'll do better for Sekhemet and go to some trouble to get something good for her next time I call) After a long day at work, instead of going home, I went to the nearest store for the herbs I needed for the incense offering, and selected the best looking red candle in the store. With that done, I hopped on the train home.
After getting home, I ate dinner, and made sure I was refreshed, I set up my altar, called the spirits, expressed my sincere apology to them, and made the offering. I lit the candle first. Then I lit the incense. The charcoal didn't want to light at first, but soon the wonderful smells of saffron, rose hips, and myrrh were coming from the censer. I don't think I'll ever use stick incense again. There is no comparison.
The entire candle was gone within an hour or two. By gone, I mean gone. The wax evaporated, leaving only a dime-sized bit of wax with a bit of burnt wick in it. I've never seen such a clean burn, and can only believe that the spirits accepted my offering. I felt the presence again, but this time it was much more subtle.
So what have I learned from all of this? It's that offerings are indeed meant to have some effort put into them. Something you had "laying around" isn't the same as going out and getting something special. When you call a spirit, you are knocking on their door. When they open their door, do you really want to be the one standing there with something you had sitting around and didn't, need? Do you really think they're going to want to take whatever it was that you had sitting around? If they do, it'll be halfheartedly. If you go out and get someone a gift, the response is much different!
An offering is a gift. It shows you care enough to go out and get something nice. This is especially important when you do the equivalent of knocking on a stranger's door, and tell them to keep their damn kids off your lawn, except they don't have any kids... well it sounded good in my head anyway.
Next time I knock on Sekhmet's door, or any other entity I'm trying to build a relationship with, I'll be sure to be there with something new, and worth putting a bow on.
With that in mind, I went the extra mile with getting the supplies for the offering to the Spirits of Venus. (and I'll do better for Sekhemet and go to some trouble to get something good for her next time I call) After a long day at work, instead of going home, I went to the nearest store for the herbs I needed for the incense offering, and selected the best looking red candle in the store. With that done, I hopped on the train home.
After getting home, I ate dinner, and made sure I was refreshed, I set up my altar, called the spirits, expressed my sincere apology to them, and made the offering. I lit the candle first. Then I lit the incense. The charcoal didn't want to light at first, but soon the wonderful smells of saffron, rose hips, and myrrh were coming from the censer. I don't think I'll ever use stick incense again. There is no comparison.
The entire candle was gone within an hour or two. By gone, I mean gone. The wax evaporated, leaving only a dime-sized bit of wax with a bit of burnt wick in it. I've never seen such a clean burn, and can only believe that the spirits accepted my offering. I felt the presence again, but this time it was much more subtle.
So what have I learned from all of this? It's that offerings are indeed meant to have some effort put into them. Something you had "laying around" isn't the same as going out and getting something special. When you call a spirit, you are knocking on their door. When they open their door, do you really want to be the one standing there with something you had sitting around and didn't, need? Do you really think they're going to want to take whatever it was that you had sitting around? If they do, it'll be halfheartedly. If you go out and get someone a gift, the response is much different!
An offering is a gift. It shows you care enough to go out and get something nice. This is especially important when you do the equivalent of knocking on a stranger's door, and tell them to keep their damn kids off your lawn, except they don't have any kids... well it sounded good in my head anyway.
Next time I knock on Sekhmet's door, or any other entity I'm trying to build a relationship with, I'll be sure to be there with something new, and worth putting a bow on.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Sometimes dreams are just dreams
When people start studying magic, one thing I see a lot is that people seem to get this idea in their head that every dream they have MUST be interpreted, because it obviously has some significant magical message, or is otherwise important.
My dreams are crazy. They're bright, loud, vibrant, and have a level of super-realism that challenges me to figure out I'm dreaming even when I'm semi-lucid. Yes, some of them are communications with Anubis, or premonitions of people I will meet, or situations I will be put into shortly.
If I took the bulk of my dreams even remotely literally, or to be more than just crazy brain-narratives from an eccentric mind, I'd have some serious issues though.
I am not capable of flight, I do not have wings. I am not a shapeshifter, or a non-human entity. (shamanic shape shifting doesn't count) I have not disemboweled demon dogs with my hands, nor will I ever meet the gargoyles from the Gargoyles tv show. I am not a chosen "anything" and any narrative where I am the center of some great destiny is just because I am the center of my personal universe. I have never been to Narnia, nor will I ever. The same goes for the Harry Potter universe, or the dream I had last night where Russia invaded California. It was incredibly vivid. Russia had suddenly devoured a portion of northern California, and that suddenly made Oregon into California. It made no sense. It was a nonsense narrative. They happen. Get over it.
No matter what your dreams tell you, you are not a special snowflake meant to save the world, or whatever. You are not the "chosen one" of some great destiny, and believing that you just need to wait for the "next step" to be revealed in your dreams to achieve greatness, is folly. Get up, live your life. Don't wait for your dreams to tell you what to do. If you have some options in front of you, but you aren't sure which one would be best, do a reading. Dust off those runes or tarot cards and get to work! Life, magic, it's all work. The trick of the magician to is to turn it into the Great Work. To do that, you can't sit and wait, you have to act. You have to do more than just dream. You have to do.
My dreams are crazy. They're bright, loud, vibrant, and have a level of super-realism that challenges me to figure out I'm dreaming even when I'm semi-lucid. Yes, some of them are communications with Anubis, or premonitions of people I will meet, or situations I will be put into shortly.
If I took the bulk of my dreams even remotely literally, or to be more than just crazy brain-narratives from an eccentric mind, I'd have some serious issues though.
I am not capable of flight, I do not have wings. I am not a shapeshifter, or a non-human entity. (shamanic shape shifting doesn't count) I have not disemboweled demon dogs with my hands, nor will I ever meet the gargoyles from the Gargoyles tv show. I am not a chosen "anything" and any narrative where I am the center of some great destiny is just because I am the center of my personal universe. I have never been to Narnia, nor will I ever. The same goes for the Harry Potter universe, or the dream I had last night where Russia invaded California. It was incredibly vivid. Russia had suddenly devoured a portion of northern California, and that suddenly made Oregon into California. It made no sense. It was a nonsense narrative. They happen. Get over it.
No matter what your dreams tell you, you are not a special snowflake meant to save the world, or whatever. You are not the "chosen one" of some great destiny, and believing that you just need to wait for the "next step" to be revealed in your dreams to achieve greatness, is folly. Get up, live your life. Don't wait for your dreams to tell you what to do. If you have some options in front of you, but you aren't sure which one would be best, do a reading. Dust off those runes or tarot cards and get to work! Life, magic, it's all work. The trick of the magician to is to turn it into the Great Work. To do that, you can't sit and wait, you have to act. You have to do more than just dream. You have to do.
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