I've noticed some interesting changes in myself since I began working with Sekhmet. I'm starting to rediscover my own confidence, and I'm starting to feel that itch to do things without worrying about whether something could go wrong. I'm learning how to live again, and it feels wonderful.
I've found that I've become more aware of my body language, and the messages I'm sending. I've started walking with my head held high. I've started not automatically stepping out of someone's way when they're trying to take up the entire sidewalk. I've started taking the initiative to show that I am someone who won't take take shit. Yes I will fight for things I believe in. This used to be who I was, back when I was walking the streets of California as a kid. I went on adventures, I took risks, and I don't know when or why I changed. Somewhere along the way, I turned in this this submissive person who was afraid of upsetting people, and who just tried to get out of the way of the rest of the world.
I am finding myself again. I can feel my inner fire burning in a way I haven't for at least half a decade. I'm taking this, I'm using this, and I'm spurring myself forward. I'm taking a trip to California, the state I grew up in, and I'm returning to Southern California, where I first encountered the Gods. I'm feeling this pull, this need to go there, and I feel like something is going to happen. I think I've reached a crossroads, though I'm not sure for what. I'm sure I'll know soon though.
The exploratory writings and magical experiences of a Hermetic Egypto-Pagan.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Divination
I had a very positive reading about everything. It looks like I was just in a toxic environment before, and things should be picking up soon. I pulled some cards I'd never pulled before too! That was interesting. All the signs appear to be good though. Time to jump into my endeavors with both feet, and see where it takes me!
Planetary work
So as you might know, I've been working on becoming more familiar with planetary days, and hours, and how they affect things.
Just a little bit ago, I was sitting in front of my computer working on getting some new job prospects, when I got to thinking about my planetary workings. I realized it was the hour of the sun, and it had actually just become the hour of the sun, and decided to use this for some serious reflection, and to offer a little love to Sekhmet for some help I got from her about a week ago. (she helped illuminate a situation I wasn't aware of, which became pretty serious quickly)
I made an incense with cloves, myrrh, some rose hips, and some cherry wood, lit a candle for Sekhmet, and used the time for reflection on things that have been happening in my life, and what I can do to improve things.
I realized a few things. One big one, was that if I'm looking for new work, I should see what has hindered previous Jupiter related work, (if anything) and what I can do personally to give my life the boost it needs. Pretty common sense, but with all the change in my life in the past couple weeks, I'm reeling from it all still, so getting that insight is valuable. A lot of good things have been happening, and it could be that this is a blessing in disguise since It's spurring me forward back into modeling work. There's some potential there, but how much is unclear.
I'm going to be away for a week starting on the 27th, and arriving in SoCal on the 30th in the evening. I'm going to hopefully be scouting out/getting some modeling gigs while I'm down there. If I can't get anything this time around, I have a few gigs waiting for me here when I get back, so that's a plus!
I'll be doing a divination tonight to look over the situation as a whole.
Just a little bit ago, I was sitting in front of my computer working on getting some new job prospects, when I got to thinking about my planetary workings. I realized it was the hour of the sun, and it had actually just become the hour of the sun, and decided to use this for some serious reflection, and to offer a little love to Sekhmet for some help I got from her about a week ago. (she helped illuminate a situation I wasn't aware of, which became pretty serious quickly)
I made an incense with cloves, myrrh, some rose hips, and some cherry wood, lit a candle for Sekhmet, and used the time for reflection on things that have been happening in my life, and what I can do to improve things.
I realized a few things. One big one, was that if I'm looking for new work, I should see what has hindered previous Jupiter related work, (if anything) and what I can do personally to give my life the boost it needs. Pretty common sense, but with all the change in my life in the past couple weeks, I'm reeling from it all still, so getting that insight is valuable. A lot of good things have been happening, and it could be that this is a blessing in disguise since It's spurring me forward back into modeling work. There's some potential there, but how much is unclear.
I'm going to be away for a week starting on the 27th, and arriving in SoCal on the 30th in the evening. I'm going to hopefully be scouting out/getting some modeling gigs while I'm down there. If I can't get anything this time around, I have a few gigs waiting for me here when I get back, so that's a plus!
I'll be doing a divination tonight to look over the situation as a whole.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Reconstructionism
I realize that I have some very strong views about this topic, and that I may have said some things that could be construed as harsh or even rude towards others working in the Egyptian pantheon.
So I figure I'll explain what I mean when I'm bashing "reconstruction-ism"
There are people who take what we know of ancient faiths, and act like they have reconstructed the religion, and that it's as pure as it was several thousand years ago. Reconstructing an ancient religion in its entirety isn't possible, as we lack cultural knowledge from that time period, and other things have certainly been lost to time. It is those people who arrogantly stand and say that they have recovered the old ways, and that their practice is the same as the ancients who I am bashing.
I take bits of knowledge of what the ancients did, and do try to reconstruct some of it. I use titles such as "Lady of the Flame" for Sekhmet, or "Opener of Ways" for Anubis. I try to understand how they were viewed and revered, so that I have a better idea of the nature of these gods. I try to look at the history and what was going on at the time periods that they were worshiped, so that I can gain an understanding of the culture of the time and how this reflected onto the views of their gods.
To those who do the same, you have my respect. To those who take ideas and and bits and pieces and say that you have the religion of the ancients, I consider you foolish at best, blasphemous at worst. I practice a modern religion based on ancient gods, not an ancient religion in modern times. I think it's important to make this distinction, as it's something that isn't focused on much in the pagan community. There is a disturbing lack of academic scholarship and knowledge in the pagan community when it comes to understanding the gods and the times that they came from. Because of this, we run the risk of whitewashing the very gods we claim to worship, and do them wrong by not bothering to learn their history. The ancient world was a bloody place, and people died a lot. Most people died before the age of 5. It was ravaged by disease, poor harvests, and "barbarians" We can't begin to understand what this was like unless we live it. We can't begin to understand the religion or the gods as they were then. Even reconstruction-ism is a modern creation, no matter how hard we try for this reason.
I understand the reasons for trying to reconstruct what we know of a religion, but saying that it's pure is misleading and foolish. That's my take on the matter.
So I figure I'll explain what I mean when I'm bashing "reconstruction-ism"
There are people who take what we know of ancient faiths, and act like they have reconstructed the religion, and that it's as pure as it was several thousand years ago. Reconstructing an ancient religion in its entirety isn't possible, as we lack cultural knowledge from that time period, and other things have certainly been lost to time. It is those people who arrogantly stand and say that they have recovered the old ways, and that their practice is the same as the ancients who I am bashing.
I take bits of knowledge of what the ancients did, and do try to reconstruct some of it. I use titles such as "Lady of the Flame" for Sekhmet, or "Opener of Ways" for Anubis. I try to understand how they were viewed and revered, so that I have a better idea of the nature of these gods. I try to look at the history and what was going on at the time periods that they were worshiped, so that I can gain an understanding of the culture of the time and how this reflected onto the views of their gods.
To those who do the same, you have my respect. To those who take ideas and and bits and pieces and say that you have the religion of the ancients, I consider you foolish at best, blasphemous at worst. I practice a modern religion based on ancient gods, not an ancient religion in modern times. I think it's important to make this distinction, as it's something that isn't focused on much in the pagan community. There is a disturbing lack of academic scholarship and knowledge in the pagan community when it comes to understanding the gods and the times that they came from. Because of this, we run the risk of whitewashing the very gods we claim to worship, and do them wrong by not bothering to learn their history. The ancient world was a bloody place, and people died a lot. Most people died before the age of 5. It was ravaged by disease, poor harvests, and "barbarians" We can't begin to understand what this was like unless we live it. We can't begin to understand the religion or the gods as they were then. Even reconstruction-ism is a modern creation, no matter how hard we try for this reason.
I understand the reasons for trying to reconstruct what we know of a religion, but saying that it's pure is misleading and foolish. That's my take on the matter.
Friday, April 15, 2011
An update on the Sekhmet Work
Not too much new to report. The work with Sekhmet is going very well, and we seem to be on decent terms at this point. It looks like there's definitely a lot I can learn from her, if my chat with her last night was any indication. Working with her seems to be just what I needed to give my life that extra boost I've been looking for. I've become more assertive, and willing to make requests of my superiors. I've been able to say things like "I'm not coming in to work today, I'm sick" if I'm actually ill, and need a day or two off from work.
Things like this used to be a problem for me. I would always be afraid of upsetting someone, even if it meant that I might get hurt if I didn't say anything. I'm learning how to speak, be heard, and use it for personal empowerment. Even if that empowerment is only being able to take care of myself and my health, and becoming more confident in myself and my abilities, both magical and non.
I've been warned that there will be times when things will get rough, and that there will be pitfalls, but it's life, and learning how to roll with the punches is a big part of the living experience.
Being willing to try for something is what got me accepted to the college that I'm going to be attending in the fall, and what should be getting me the hours I asked for at work. My boss implied that I should keep an eye on my work email for schedule changes, so I'm taking that as a positive sign.
The Sekhmet blade is also coming along very well. I've sadly had to remove more of the metal than I would have liked, but removal of the weaker and diseased parts of the blade was necessary. The blade itself is nearly finished. I'm waiting on some better tools, and the cherry heartwood for the handle, which should be coming in the mail in a few days from a special supplier on the east coast.
The blade has a fantastic shine to it though, and what remains seems fairly strong. Once the blade is as good as I can get it, I'll be tempering it, and polishing it before it's set in the handle. I should have pictures soon, I promise.
Things like this used to be a problem for me. I would always be afraid of upsetting someone, even if it meant that I might get hurt if I didn't say anything. I'm learning how to speak, be heard, and use it for personal empowerment. Even if that empowerment is only being able to take care of myself and my health, and becoming more confident in myself and my abilities, both magical and non.
I've been warned that there will be times when things will get rough, and that there will be pitfalls, but it's life, and learning how to roll with the punches is a big part of the living experience.
Being willing to try for something is what got me accepted to the college that I'm going to be attending in the fall, and what should be getting me the hours I asked for at work. My boss implied that I should keep an eye on my work email for schedule changes, so I'm taking that as a positive sign.
The Sekhmet blade is also coming along very well. I've sadly had to remove more of the metal than I would have liked, but removal of the weaker and diseased parts of the blade was necessary. The blade itself is nearly finished. I'm waiting on some better tools, and the cherry heartwood for the handle, which should be coming in the mail in a few days from a special supplier on the east coast.
The blade has a fantastic shine to it though, and what remains seems fairly strong. Once the blade is as good as I can get it, I'll be tempering it, and polishing it before it's set in the handle. I should have pictures soon, I promise.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Knocking on Sekhmet's Door
You've just knocked on a neighbor's door. If you've had a poor interaction with them in the past, they'll be slow to come to the door, and harder to coax into helping you with whatever project you need them for, even if it's just to borrow a cup of sugar, or maybe an egg or two.
That's basically how I try to think of calling forth an entity these days. I think it's a healthy view that allows oneself to consider how they're communicating and acting with the entity that has been summoned, and what kind of relationship you're building.
My first attempt at summoning Sekhmet a while back, was kind of craptastic. I gave her no reason to come to the door. My offering was poor, and I didn't understand that an offering is meant to be a sacrifice, something that took time/effort to obtain. She eventually came to the door anyway, realized I had decent intentions, and didn't write me off entirely. It wasn't a bad start, but it could have been a lot better.
This time, I had the offerings I wanted. Everything else went wrong. My charcoal wouldn't light, so the incense I mixed for her, of myrrh and cloves wouldn't burn. The red candle I had selected for her burnt merrily however, and I decided to go on. I made do with grabbing a small handful of the myrrh and sprinkling it over the candle flame a few times as an offering with the candle.
I sat in front of the simple altar I had created, and I spoke to her. I asked her to come forth, I told her that I offered her a candle the color of blood. I paused, and I offered her the cloves and the myrrh as well, even though they weren't burning. Within a second of making that offering, the censer sprung to life! I was amazed, and opened my eyes as the smell of the incense I had made wafted around the room. It was clear that she had accepted the offerings I made to her.
I then thanked her for accepting the humble offering I had made, and explained to her my desire of establishing a working relationship with her, and learning the lessons that she had to teach. I felt that this was understood, and also explained how I was making a dagger in her image from a bronze spearhead, from a time and people who once knew her and respected her. I further explained that if she was ok with the idea that I would like to be able to imbue the dagger with her power in the future, so that I could use it in workings where it would aid me. She seemed to agree with this idea (yes, I'll have a picture of the dagger up in the future) however it would only be possible once we have established a better rapport.
She seemed pleased that I understand and respect her "negative" attributes as much as her positive ones. She could only be considered a "mother goddess" in the sense that a mother lion will show incredible ferocity and Will to harm anyone who dares harm her cubs. There is nothing "gentle" about her. She's a stark contrast to Anubis, whose energy seems calming, and cold. There's a reason Sekhmet was called Lady of the Flame, and there's a reason why offerings were made to her in ancient times to quell her anger. She is the right Eye of Ra, and a goddess of divine judgment. To see her as anything less is foolhardy if you're approaching her.
Know who you're summoning, and for the love of god, don't whitewash them. If they were once worshiped as a warrior goddess who once nearly killed everyone while in a blood-rage, there's probably a reason for it. If you don't show proper respect at someone's door, you might get clawed up, or at very least have a bad start to a relationship.
That's basically how I try to think of calling forth an entity these days. I think it's a healthy view that allows oneself to consider how they're communicating and acting with the entity that has been summoned, and what kind of relationship you're building.
My first attempt at summoning Sekhmet a while back, was kind of craptastic. I gave her no reason to come to the door. My offering was poor, and I didn't understand that an offering is meant to be a sacrifice, something that took time/effort to obtain. She eventually came to the door anyway, realized I had decent intentions, and didn't write me off entirely. It wasn't a bad start, but it could have been a lot better.
This time, I had the offerings I wanted. Everything else went wrong. My charcoal wouldn't light, so the incense I mixed for her, of myrrh and cloves wouldn't burn. The red candle I had selected for her burnt merrily however, and I decided to go on. I made do with grabbing a small handful of the myrrh and sprinkling it over the candle flame a few times as an offering with the candle.
I sat in front of the simple altar I had created, and I spoke to her. I asked her to come forth, I told her that I offered her a candle the color of blood. I paused, and I offered her the cloves and the myrrh as well, even though they weren't burning. Within a second of making that offering, the censer sprung to life! I was amazed, and opened my eyes as the smell of the incense I had made wafted around the room. It was clear that she had accepted the offerings I made to her.
I then thanked her for accepting the humble offering I had made, and explained to her my desire of establishing a working relationship with her, and learning the lessons that she had to teach. I felt that this was understood, and also explained how I was making a dagger in her image from a bronze spearhead, from a time and people who once knew her and respected her. I further explained that if she was ok with the idea that I would like to be able to imbue the dagger with her power in the future, so that I could use it in workings where it would aid me. She seemed to agree with this idea (yes, I'll have a picture of the dagger up in the future) however it would only be possible once we have established a better rapport.
She seemed pleased that I understand and respect her "negative" attributes as much as her positive ones. She could only be considered a "mother goddess" in the sense that a mother lion will show incredible ferocity and Will to harm anyone who dares harm her cubs. There is nothing "gentle" about her. She's a stark contrast to Anubis, whose energy seems calming, and cold. There's a reason Sekhmet was called Lady of the Flame, and there's a reason why offerings were made to her in ancient times to quell her anger. She is the right Eye of Ra, and a goddess of divine judgment. To see her as anything less is foolhardy if you're approaching her.
Know who you're summoning, and for the love of god, don't whitewash them. If they were once worshiped as a warrior goddess who once nearly killed everyone while in a blood-rage, there's probably a reason for it. If you don't show proper respect at someone's door, you might get clawed up, or at very least have a bad start to a relationship.
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